Get Real!
Different
Ability: Autism
Brainstorming
between Maria Teresa De Donato and Giovanni Tommasini
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In our previous article, Dad,
will you connect me? In Part One and Part Two, we addressed a topic of great
interest and relevance: Internet addiction among the new generations.
Today, Giovanni and I
will continue our GET REAL! column by considering autism spectrum disorders,
starting with their definition.
The American Heritage
Dictionary of the English Language (Fifth Edition) defines Autism as
"a pervasive developmental disorder characterized by severe deficits in
social interaction and communication, a minimal range of activities and
interests, and often the presence of repetitive behaviors and stereotyping."
(https://www.wordnik.com/words/autism - 01/15/2024 - Translation from English
by M.T. De Donato)
More precisely, given the
variety of symptoms and the complexity of providing a coherent and unitary
clinical definition, it has recently become familiar to speak more correctly of
Autistic Spectrum Disorders (ASD). This expression includes a whole series of
pathologies or syndromes having the aforementioned behavioral characteristics
as a common denominator, although at various degrees or levels of intensity.
According to statistics,
these conditions are increasing dramatically not only, but above all, among
male children and young people.
In examining Autism,
Giovanni and I will focus on some particular aspects that can help us see It
not as a pathology but as a different ability. In this sense, we can, in fact,
say that the forms of intelligence are different, as are those relating to
emotionality and sensitivity, as well as the ways of perceiving the world
around us and experiencing it.
Having said this, in our publication Autism from a Different Perspective – Cesare's Successful Story (Tommasini & De Donato, 2019), Giovanni and I started by questioning some beliefs deeply rooted in many people, first of all, the concept of 'normality.' We had, therefore, highlighted how this term was interpreted depending on the people and the various cultures and how, too often, when we find ourselves faced with people who act in a way that escapes our understanding and which, therefore, we are unable to comprehend, we feel fear or in any case discomfort in approaching them and even more so in interacting with them.
What is your opinion based on your experience, Giovanni?
The discomfort caused by coming into contact with people who have unknown ways of expressing themselves lies in the emotions they elicit. In the first instance of denial of the possibility of entering into dialogue with them. Just as if we were in the presence of a foreigner and an unknown language.
It is mainly the
difficulty we have in getting in touch with parts of ourselves that we have yet
to welcome, to which we have not given attention and listened.
Going elsewhere to get to
know requires effort and a willingness to search for words to understand what
we could not face and experience in the past.
A challenge worth a
lifetime and the possibility of becoming masters of oneself and one's destiny.
The
"educational" work, the construction of a helping relationship,
requires entry into an adult perspective in which there is no longer the
approach of judgment and guilt but only that of understanding and the search
for awareness.
This requires an
essential choice of field that takes work to make.
It is accepting the
complexity of reality in trust, in the prospect of enrichment that is not
possible in the "reaction," and in the simplification of the richness
that dialogue with others and reality can offer.
Over the years, in your profession as an educator, you have always dealt with autistic children or those whose condition is identified as belonging to the autistic spectrum.
As with Cesare, the
protagonist of our book on Autism, you often had the opportunity to involve
them in leisure activities. I remember, for example, some photos you showed me
of you all on the beach.
How did these kids live
these experiences, and how was their presence in specific environments and
situations perceived by the people present? Could you give us some examples?
Every time we go out to spend a few hours away from the center or from the family, it's a celebration for my boys. Precisely because, for them, life is a pure relational experience, not having been able to be "performance beings" as society requires, neglecting the growth of "relational" skills.
We experience it every
day in our daily life.
My boys, as only works of
art can express, get in emotional contact with those they meet, and in general,
their reaction is that of rejection of this "meeting" of emotions.
Emotions are scary, and no one has ever helped us experience them as the most
fundamental element of knowing ourselves and life in relationships.
You are right. Confronting one's feelings is hard work for most human beings. Many are afraid of them; they tend to suffocate or at least hide them, and this refers to their own. Imagine when they find themselves having to confront those of others!
Compared to the years of
Rain Man, the famous 1988 film starring Dustin Hoffman and Tom Cruise and which
was the first to bring this condition, namely Autism, to the public's
attention, steps forward have been made. To begin with, today, we no longer use
the term "disability" but rather "different ability," which
indicates a different approach and attitude compared to those we had in the
past, starting with professionals in the sector.
In your opinion, as an
'insider' who works in the environment and deals with these realities every
day, what barriers are still encountered at a professional level but also,
above all, at a social level in this area today, and what can and should be
done to pave the way for greater understanding and integration?
Unfortunately, the answer to this question has changed radically over the years, and what might have been the case only ten years ago is now obsolete.
Relationship work is
experiencing a slow and inevitable decline to the extent that perennial
connection brings about the end of the human and relational being.
Teaching, educating, and
helping will increasingly be jobs outside the imagination of generations born,
lived, and raised with a device screen as their only reference point.
Alas.
We began dealing with this unfortunate and harmful situation in our previous articles, which we mentioned at the beginning of our meeting. We invite readers who wish to read them in the hope that they can help them gain a greater understanding and awareness of the gravity and extent of the problem and inspire them to change certain behaviors and habits. We do not at all wish to abolish the technological progress that we have achieved but rather to reach, I would almost say 'discover,' a balance that might allow us to make use of it without harming or destroying our humanity or the need to socialize, to spend time with our loved ones, with friends and outdoors, regaining contact with ourselves and Nature.
For those unfamiliar with
autism, it's crucial to understand and accept 'different abilities' and the
approach we should take towards others to foster integration. This
understanding and acceptance can pave the way for a more inclusive and
compassionate society.
The shift should be
towards prioritizing relational skills over performance ones. However, as I
mentioned earlier, this 'approach towards the Other' is unfortunately a fading
vision.
I spent years suggesting
to Cesare that he confidently leave the house because it would be enjoyable
rather than staying in his bedroom directing an imaginary orchestra in front of
a white wall.
But when we left the
front door, we didn't realize that all the rest of the reality that we wanted
to say goodbye to and with which we tried to enter into dialogue was shutting
itself up in that little room we had left in front of a screen in an "autism"
made of perpetual connection.
To those asking themselves these questions, do we want to clarify why it is essential to talk about and accept that there are not only different personalities but also different intelligences, emotions, and sensitivity?
Equality lies in mutual diversity and the willingness to be "invaded" by opening the door to the unknown.
It is a mutual enrichment
that all of us and the future of the new generations should realize, like the
air we need to live.
In conclusion of our meeting, Giovanni, we want to remind our readers that they will be able to delve deeper into this topic thanks to the book we mentioned, whose purpose was precisely to approach autism from a different perspective, making it become
"An
engaging work, which will move and, in some cases, will even make the reader
smile thanks to a direct and immediate narrative capable of describing a
reality that, despite the plans made and the precautions taken, precisely by
its unpredictability and dynamism in manifesting itself, escapes any control,
giving rise to situations which, however dramatic and difficult to manage,
often also have an unexpected humorous aspect." (Tommasini & De
Donato, 2019)
AUTISM from a DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVE: Cesare's Successful Story
Synopsis
Amazing, fascinating, one-of-a-kind autistic children, often with a very
high IQ who cannot, however, integrate into a society they reject and which
they neither feel nor seem to want to be part of. Exhausted and socially
isolated families that no longer know how to help them, but above that, wonder
what will become of their children when they "will no longer be
there." How to help both children and parents? What is the best approach?
But above all, what should and shouldn't be done to help them? The successful
story of Cesare that Giovanni Tommasini, Educator, had, the profound analysis
that the latter made along with Maria Teresa De Donato, Naturopath and Coach and the questions they both asked themselves while working on this book seem to
open a breach in the mysterious world of autism, by identifying a different
perspective that might be of benefit to all and allow those who are affected by
it and whoever must confront this reality, be it a family member or an
educator, to find the best way to help these differently abled individuals to
live a life worthy of being defined as such and that can respect their own
tempo and methods, but above all their uniqueness and full potential, and at
the same time greatly lighten the heavy burden imposed on these families by
this pathology. An engaging work, that will move and, in some cases, also
elicit a smile in the reader thanks to a direct and immediate narrative aiming
at describing a reality that, despite the plans made and the precautions taken,
by virtue of its unpredictability and dynamism in manifesting itself, defies
any control, giving life to situations that, however dramatic and difficult to
manage, often have an unexpected humorous side.
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