"Dad, will you connect me?" - Internet Addiction of the New Generations (Part Two) - by Maria Teresa De Donato & Giovanni Tommasini

GET REAL! 

"Dad, will you connect me?"

 

That is to say

 

Internet Addiction of the New Generations (Part Two)

 

 

Brainstorming between Maria Teresa De Donato and Giovanni Tommasini

 

 

 

In Part One of our discussion on internet addiction and the like, Giovanni and I intended to do some in-depth analysis on Triple A (AAA), i.e. the three factors – Welcome (Accoglienza), Attention and Listening (Ascolto) – which, by allowing you to come into contact with yourself and with others, could constitute a valid tool to free the new generations from the slavery and isolation caused by the virtual world and restore communication between them and an emotional world in way to reclaim value to life and interpersonal relationships.

 

 

 

Giovanni, Why don’t we go back to the examples you gave and delve deeper into these three factors?

 

Sure. The first factor consists of listening without prejudice or distractions. Hospitality is an existential predisposition towards a courageous and confident willingness to be invaded by others. The verb invade fully conveys the feeling of fear, which, more than any other emotion, puts one in a position of suspicion and rejection towards others.

Welcoming, however, implies receiving and letting someone into our world. The very linguistic matrix of the word enhances the concept. Accolligere derives from colligere, that is, to grasp. The root legere can also be translated as gathering, putting together, reducing spaces and distances, or understanding and grasping the meaning.

It is no coincidence that the verb leggere (=to read) has the same etymology.

Clearly, the prospect becomes getting involved. We open up to the other to form one with him and then return to being, after the shared experience, two different and richer people than before.

If we imagine human beings as islands, we can understand Hospitality as the construction of bridges erected on the reciprocity of feelings, attitudes, and opinions: bridges supported and consolidated only if we agree to free ourselves from judgments and evaluations.

In fact, it is only from the fatigue and pain of experience that the energy necessary to activate a transformation process can be generated.

 

 

This naturally implies a commitment on both sides...

 

Yes, absolutely. Everyone must make an effort, like opening the door to a stranger. To do this, you need to overcome your fears. Knowing, discovering, and, therefore, making progress, it is necessary to prepare oneself for others with the most precious of human qualities: curiosity. We must not stop at the first impression or sensations that invade us during the acquaintance.

Hospitality is enhanced when the encounter with the other is characterized by the desire to receive an empathetic attitude. The richness of the comparison, thus, also highlights hitherto unexplored aspects of our soul.

This is a reverse process to what we are experiencing today. Like a craftsman who, working with wood, removes excess parts to enhance his sculpture, we must return to purity, subtracting the superfluous.

In short, it is necessary to dedicate ourselves to genuine relationships. Live eye to eye.

 

 

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;

and listen.

 

It is not enough to welcome the other. To create an authentic relationship, we must also tune in to his words, forgetting, at least for a while, ourselves.

Just like when we look for a radio station, finding, saving, and making the waves resonate with those who speak to us takes effort. There are many nuances to grasp: emotional, verbal, and expressive.

Attention, however, is also something more. The word comes from the Latin attentio which, in turn, derives from the verb wait, in the sense of applying oneself to doing something, carrying out a task.

The concept of Attention, however, includes that of surprise. It is activated when something distorts the ordinary, forcing us to try to understand.

In fact, every day, we receive many impulses and stimuli. We perceive even more of it when we surf the web. The brain applies a filter that selects, based on importance, the information on which to focus. The bombardment of stimuli received on social media, including notifications, messages, and conversations, cancels this scale of precedence. Everything must be enjoyed immediately and requires our attention.

The surprise effect, however, also works in this continuous flow of information. Something new and unexpected catalyzes attention. Always.

Therefore, although Hospitality and Attention also exist online, the last A needs to be included: the one that determines the true essence of the quality of every human relationship.

I love listening. I have learned a significant number of things by listening carefully.

 

 

This also involves respect for the other... for his thoughts, but also for his diversity - of opinion, beliefs, culture, and so on.

 

Of course. Listening is also activated by curiosity. A natural search for the meaning of other people's language. As if every conversation begins with "Let me understand better, please." In this way, we accept a tacit agreement with the interlocutor aimed at mutual clarification.

The conversation with the other thus demonstrates interest in the meaning of communication. Strengthening this process is the certainty that the more we understand, the richer we become.

The tension between understanding the other is a chain process of responses capable of revealing unexpressed parts of ourselves.

Emblems in popular culture are the Mirror of Erised and, above all, the tale of The Arabian Nights: Aladdin and the Wonderful Lamp. The object and the protagonist seem to say that, in the profound understanding of what people dream of, there is already the fulfillment of the desire. With the respective reflex and spell, the listening of these requests is exclusively implemented.

 

 

These issues should be discussed in classes of all levels.

 

Yes, definitely. I took action in this direction and had some positive feedback.

For example, a teacher wrote to me:

 

        Dear Giovanni,

 

This morning in class, some of my students presented the book "Daddy, Can You Connect Me?" to their classmates through a well-constructed multimedia work.

Oh yes, we haven't spoken again. Still, I appreciate the publication and recommend reading it to the kids who, during the Christmas break, purchased about fifteen copies on Amazon. To encourage them to read it, I told them they could take an oral test on the topics covered, which fit well into the civic education program (Digital Citizenship Area).

So this morning, we talked about her, dedicating two hours of lessons to the book's contents, particularly connection pathologies.

Convinced that I was doing her a favor, I felt it was my duty to let her know.

         Greetings, Pia

 

 

Perfect! In the following article, Giovanni, we could think about what could be the reason why kids, or at least many of them, need to connect to feel alive and part of a community... even if, as we have seen, in many cases it is predominantly, if not exclusively, virtual.

 

Yes, I think our readers will also find the topic exciting and equally helpful.