Life Coaching Lesson #4: Just One Step At A Time
by
Maria Teresa De Donato, Ph.D., Life Strategist
“A
journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step” stated
Lao-Tzu sometime between the 5th and the 4th
century B.C. Though one might think at first that's like stating the
obvious, the reality of the matter is that for so many among us
sometimes it appears that moving just one step forward in one
direction or the other is hard when not even impossible to
accomplish. How so?
I
am not a sportive person. I have been, however, always quite agile
and active one way or the other all my life. Though I am not
particularly interested in gym – I like fresh air and enjoying a
beautiful landscape much more than exercising indoor – I always
preferred to walk, hike and swim whenever possible. Every time I
happen to be around mountains, for instance, I take the opportunity,
either on my own or with friends, to go up to the top. This happened
to me many times on the Alps.
One
day I was with a friend. I knew she was not accustomed to the
mountains nor very inclined to do any form of exercise either.
However, since she was really appreciating the breathtaking alpine
landscape, I suggested we take a walk and see how far up we might go.
We didn't walk but a mile or so including no more than 500 meters
(0.31 miles) of an uphill road in the woods for as soon as she saw
the upward slope of the lane she came up with all sorts of
justifications - “rational and logical explanations” in her view
– in order not to proceed any further.
Although
since start I had been aware that we would have not, in fact, reached
the top of the mountain that day, but most likely stopped much
sooner, it was quite evident to me that it was my friend's mental
blockage which was preventing her to move ahead and make any
progress. My attitude was a positive one: I suggested to just forget
all about reaching the top and not focus on the evident upward slope
which appeared to our very eyes, but rather to concentrate on the
fact that all that was required of us was to move one step forward
at a time and that when she would feel tired we would stop for a few
minutes and see whether to continue or to turn around and start
descending.
In
my view, however, my friend, to the contrary, gave up before
starting: she convinced herself, by keeping repeating it, that it was
too much for her – and we weren't but only ten minutes into the
woods compared to the two hours and forty minutes normally expected
to reach the top – that the upward slope was excessive, that she
would have probably fallen down or gotten sick and whatever still
left in between.
In
our everyday life the attitude my friend proved to have in that
circumstance is more frequent than one might imagine though. How many
among us are stuck in a situation, in a depressing and, maybe,
underpaid job, or in a frustrating, unloving, mentally, emotionally
and, maybe, even physically abusive relationship where we feel trapped,
do not know what to do next and how, and what direction eventually we
should take? Sometimes it is not a matter of lack of possibilities
but rather of lack of positive, constructive thinking and consequent
audacity, of fear of the unknown, of what might happen if we try, of
fear of possible failure.
Possibilities
are all around us and all that is required from us is to start
moving, one step at a time, doing something new, something different
we have never tried before. Failures and obstacles we may encounter
on our path are there for a reason: to make us grow, to refine and
strengthen ourselves, our beliefs, our ability and determination to
get closer to our final goal or to point at a new direction we should
take in our life.
Too
many times we might be presented with two or more opportunities at
once. We get confused, feel not at ease and wonder which way we
should go. We feel insecure about what choice to make. The reality
is, though, that one direction might be as valid as the other one
and that the Universe, Life, God or however we want to call
It/Her/Him is just offering us more than one possibility to choose
from. It is really up to us which way to go. We just need to get
started.
Fear
is, unfortunately, the most common element in people's life. Fear
keeps us prisoners of ourselves. Fear of failure is what prevents
most of us from reaching our full potential. However, once we accept the
possibility that we can fail, that a failure does not determine who
we really are, and we do not allow it to interfere or even compromise
our self-esteem, we will start taking control over our lives.
Write
it down where you are and where you want to be in the future, in the
next three or six months, in a year, ten years and make a list of
things you can do to reach that goal. Move one step forward at a
time but be consistent. And should life at a certain point indicate you
that you need to change direction do not get frustrated or
discouraged. You won't have “lost” anything. The time, money
and energy you will have invested so far will have made you who you
are and all that you will have learned will serve you – one way or
the other – to accomplish whatever you have in mind.
Things
happen for a reason and all the knowledge and experience you will
have acquired will serve their purpose and remain with you all your
life. Even if you in the meanwhile have changed direction and started walking a different path everything you will have treasured so far
will prove to be useful at a certain point in time and maybe even
when less expected.
Let's
get started then and remember: Move just one step at a time. Ignore
the “upward slope” and focus on your very next step. Nothing else
is required of you.
Please
feel free to read also my previous Coaching articles at
Maria
Teresa De Donato©2015. All Rights Reserved
To know more about my holistic health practice and my coaching activity, please feel free to visit also the following sites:
