Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Career women, unhealthy romantic relationships, and parental lack of affection - Interview with Daniela Merola, Journalist, Author - by Maria Teresa De Donato


Career women, unhealthy romantic relationships, and parental lack of affection

Interview with Daniela Merola, Journalist, Author

by Maria Teresa De Donato





Well prepared, competent, beautiful, intelligent, nice, and determined: this is, in a nutshell, the description I can give of my dear friend and colleague - true Neapolitan - Daniela Merola.

There is a lot to be said about her and her activities. It is, therefore, with great pleasure that I host her today on my Blog and Virtual Cultural Salon. With her we will be talking about many aspects of the lives of real women and also of those of fictional characters, including Marta, the protagonist of her novel Marta, un soffio di vita (Marta, a breath of life).


MTDD: Hi Daniela and welcome! Thank you for your participation in this interview. It is a great pleasure to have you as my guest.

DM: Thanks to you Maria Teresa, it is an honor for me to be interviewed by a colleague as well prepared as you, I am really happy.


MTDD: Daniela, as an introduction I made a quite short presentation of you, as a woman and as a professional. However, I would like you to elaborate.

Why don't you start by telling us a little bit about yourself by sharing everything you wish to with our readers?

DM: You made a great introduction. I can add that I spend my life chasing dreams, trying to make them come true. If I can't, at least I've tried. I train, I create workshops, I teach communication, Italian, journalism, writing. I give it a try at acting every now and then, at an amateur level obviously. Furthermore, I edit other people's novels, promote artists and writers. I write.


MTDD: Let's talk a little about the cities that are – as far as I know - closest to your or at least that you particularly love: Naples, your hometown, and Rome, where you often go for business reasons.

What do they represent for you, as a woman and as a professional?

DM: Yes, it is true. I love these two cities; they are history, the foundations of civilization. Naples for me represents the shock of seeing so much beauty and so many contradictions that the city lives. It is like being in hell and in heaven at the same time. I have friends in Rome; I have had  Roman partners and I go back to city for work. I have never been a tourist in Rome; I travel to Rome only for business reasons and I do regret that. However, I know how to grasp that wonderful mood of the eternal city that also envelops you in its decadence. I can say it with certainty that if you do not visit Naples and Rome at least once in your life, then you might have lived in vain.


MTDD: You have been working as a Journalist for years. When and why did you opt for this career and what exactly do you do?

DM: It all happened naturally, communicating, transmitting something. As if I had never chosen. It is clear that I had to combine it with the activity of educator and promotion because journalism alone does not allow me to make a living. I like to deal with publishing, cultural events, theater.


MTDD: In 2019 your novel Marta, un soffio di vita (Marta a breath of life) came out, published by LFA Publisher, that I had the pleasure of reading and reviewing and that I really enjoyed.

How did you get the idea of writing and, subsequently, publishing this novel?

DM: Marta, un soffio di vita came about by chance, it was born from a memory of a person I met and who suffered from self-injurious depression. I opened the file and started writing, it all happened very spontaneously. I clearly changed the names and locations of the story. It is a novel of impetus, as I would define it, a novel I knew how it would end and this on the one hand made me anxious and on the other gave me piece of mind. Then, once it was finished, I submitted it to various publishing houses and I must say that everyone wanted to publish it. I chose the LFA Publisher for an author who had already published with them recommended it to me and so I went for it. The publisher Lello Lucignano immediately appreciated it.


MTDD: Without revealing too many details of your novel, we would like to consider, however, some interesting and equally profound aspects that emerge from its reading. The first concerns the romantic sphere and the many unhealthy relationships too many women not only come across, but they keep falling into, while spending their lives switching from one failed relationship to another. This also seems to be the path followed by Marta, your protagonist.

Regardless of the other (husband, partner, partner whoever he is), what is it, in your opinion, that is wrong with Marta and that leads her to take a self-injurious attitude?

DM: You are absolutely right Maria Teresa. Basically, the protagonist Marta Renzulli has no awareness of herself, she has no self-esteem, she does not love herself because she does not know the foundations of love that her parents should have passed on to her. She throws herself away, she feels she is worthless, she knows she is trapped and that trap is her own way of thinking. Then she sets off for Eugenio Belfiore first and then for Gaspare Beneficio, although with the latter she will have a greater awareness, despite never saying 'I love you'.


MTDD: In your opinion, what should 'Marta' have done or could have done to overcome her tendency towards a self-destructive behavior?

DM: I think she should have taken care of herself instead of continually denying that she has psychological problems. Not listening to oneself leads to self-destruction, especially in women. Her not listening to Dolores Nuzzo, a very intriguing character in the novel, whom I see as Marta's conscience, is precisely the explanation of Marta's rush towards self-destruction. But still exists in her, as well as in all women, a very subtle breath of life, almost invisible, to which one remains unconsciously clinging.


MTDD: Another fundamental aspect of the novel concerns the parental lack of affection. Do you want to tell us about it, starting from Marta's experience?

DM: It may seem absurd but it exists. Really strict parents who in turn have also suffered because of the severity of their parents and have suppressed their being and their own nature are forced to behave in a dull and bigoted way towards those who have wide-ranging aspirations, even towards their own child because so many factors contribute to the behavioral and educational context of an individual.

MTDD: Parents play a fundamental role not only in the education of their children, but also represent their behavioral model, a model that can be accepted or rejected, but from which the children in one way or another will be inspired. At the same time, it is equally true that, whatever the experience we might have lived as children and adolescents, once we reach adulthood, each of us becomes responsible
for his/her own actions and is, therefore, potentially able to change his/her own perception of certain realities or in some cases change one's own life, perhaps by interrupting vicious circles that have been created over time, especially at the behavioral level. Children often believe that it is their parents’ 'duty'
to do certain things, to teach by example, but unfortunately since we do not live in a perfect world, reality sometimes proves to be quite different. Often the very parents are those who need help beginning with, due to the fact that they do not know how to love or at least how to show their affection and their love to their children. The ability to lead by example, therefore, according to this analysis, would no longer seem to depend on age and parenthood per se, but rather on the level of awareness and empathy achieved.

What do you think about it and what would Marta think if we asked her? 
Would she think she might have done something wrong too or not?


DM: I fully agree with you. I believe that even a child must do his part when it comes to education and try to understand his/her parents more. We should find a perfect balance that unfortunately does not exist, but at least try to get closer to it. The exemplary family does not exist sad to say.


MTDD: I found the cover of your novel with Marta and her beautiful and beloved horse Audacia to be really beautiful.

What exactly does Audacia (Audacity) represent in Marta's life? 

DM: Many have written to me and said that the cover of the novel looks awesome. I'm proud of it. It is the very description of the story. Audacia, Marta's beloved English thoroughbred horse, represents listening, comfort, a consoling haven for the protagonist. Maybe it's the very breath of life itself metaphorically speaking.
  

MTDD: I know that as for your novel, which among other things is having a considerable success and I am really happy for you, you have projects that are boiling in the pot.

Would you like to tell us about them? 

DM: I am writing with the directors Davide Guida and Adriana Mascia the screenplay for a theatrical show based on my novel. A different point of view that takes shape and that will tell a little more. Music, words, and images. I hope it can stir up emotions.

 

MTDD: Before ending our interview, Daniela, as for those who wish to buy Marta, un soffio di vita or contact you, how can they do so?

DM: Marta, un soffio di vita can be purchased online on Amazon, Ibs, hoepli, Feltrinelli, Mondadori. It is available in paperback only. Or they can request it from me privately. As for those who live in Naples they can come to the maritime station from 8 to 11 October (2020) at the LFA Publisher stand at the city of Naples book fair. I will be there and they can buy my book.

 

MTDD: Thanks again, dear Daniela, for being my guest. I wish you all the best and that your novel might continue to have a great success. I shall be happy to have you back as a guest of my Blog and Virtual Cultural Salon to discuss with you other interesting topics.

DM: Thank you from the bottom of my heart, you are a great professional and being your guest is just a source of pride for me. I will be happy to discuss many topics with you.