Career women, unhealthy romantic
relationships, and parental lack of affection
Interview with Daniela Merola, Journalist,
Author
by Maria Teresa De Donato
Well prepared, competent, beautiful,
intelligent, nice, and determined: this is, in a nutshell, the description I
can give of my dear friend and colleague - true Neapolitan - Daniela Merola.
There is a lot to be said about her and her
activities. It is, therefore, with great pleasure that I host her today on my
Blog and Virtual Cultural Salon. With her we will be talking about many aspects
of the lives of real women and also of those of fictional characters, including
Marta, the protagonist of her novel Marta, un
soffio di vita (Marta, a breath of life).
MTDD: Hi Daniela and welcome! Thank you for
your participation in this interview. It is a great pleasure to have you as my
guest.
DM:
Thanks to you Maria Teresa, it is an honor for me to be interviewed by a
colleague as well prepared as you, I am really happy.
MTDD:
Daniela, as an introduction I made a quite short presentation of you, as a
woman and as a professional. However, I would like you to elaborate.
Why don't you start by telling us a little bit
about yourself by sharing everything you wish to with our readers?
DM:
You made a great introduction. I can add that I spend my life chasing dreams,
trying to make them come true. If I can't, at least I've tried. I train, I
create workshops, I teach communication, Italian, journalism, writing. I give
it a try at acting every now and then, at an amateur level obviously. Furthermore,
I edit other people's novels, promote artists and writers. I write.
MTDD:
Let's talk a little about the cities that are – as far as I know - closest to
your or at least that you particularly love: Naples, your hometown, and Rome,
where you often go for business reasons.
What do they represent for you, as a woman
and as a professional?
DM:
Yes, it is true. I love these two cities; they are history, the foundations of
civilization. Naples for me represents the shock of seeing so much beauty and
so many contradictions that the city lives. It is like being in hell and in
heaven at the same time. I have friends in Rome; I have had Roman partners and I go back to city for
work. I have never been a tourist in Rome; I travel to Rome only for business
reasons and I do regret that. However, I know how to grasp that wonderful mood
of the eternal city that also envelops you in its decadence. I can say it with
certainty that if you do not visit Naples and Rome at least once in your life, then
you might have lived in vain.
MTDD: You have been working as a Journalist
for years. When and why did you opt for this career and what exactly do you do?
DM:
It all happened naturally, communicating, transmitting something. As if I had
never chosen. It is clear that I had to combine it with the activity of
educator and promotion because journalism alone does not allow me to make a
living. I like to deal with publishing, cultural events, theater.
MTDD:
In 2019 your novel Marta, un soffio di vita (Marta a breath of life) came
out, published by LFA Publisher, that I had the pleasure of reading and
reviewing and that I really enjoyed.
How did you get the idea of writing and, subsequently,
publishing this novel?
DM: Marta,
un soffio di vita came about by chance, it was born from a memory of a
person I met and who suffered from self-injurious depression. I opened the file
and started writing, it all happened very spontaneously. I clearly changed the
names and locations of the story. It is a novel of impetus, as I would define
it, a novel I knew how it would end and this on the one hand made me anxious
and on the other gave me piece of mind. Then, once it was finished, I submitted
it to various publishing houses and I must say that everyone wanted to publish
it. I chose the LFA Publisher for an author who had already published with them
recommended it to me and so I went for it. The publisher Lello Lucignano
immediately appreciated it.
MTDD: Without revealing too many details of your novel, we would like to
consider, however, some interesting and equally profound aspects that emerge
from its reading. The first concerns the romantic sphere and the many unhealthy
relationships too many women not only come across, but they keep falling into, while
spending their lives switching from one failed relationship to another. This
also seems to be the path followed by Marta, your protagonist.
Regardless of the other (husband, partner,
partner whoever he is), what is it, in your opinion, that is wrong with Marta
and that leads her to take a self-injurious attitude?
DM: You are absolutely right Maria Teresa. Basically, the protagonist
Marta Renzulli has no awareness of herself, she has no self-esteem, she does
not love herself because she does not know the foundations of love that her
parents should have passed on to her. She throws herself away, she feels she is
worthless, she knows she is trapped and that trap is her own way of thinking.
Then she sets off for Eugenio Belfiore first and then for Gaspare Beneficio,
although with the latter she will have a greater awareness, despite never
saying 'I love you'.
MTDD: In your opinion, what should 'Marta'
have done or could have done to overcome her tendency towards a self-destructive
behavior?
DM: I think she should have taken care of herself instead of continually
denying that she has psychological problems. Not listening to oneself leads to
self-destruction, especially in women. Her not listening to Dolores Nuzzo, a
very intriguing character in the novel, whom I see as Marta's conscience, is
precisely the explanation of Marta's rush towards self-destruction. But still
exists in her, as well as in all women, a very subtle breath of life, almost
invisible, to which one remains unconsciously clinging.
MTDD: Another fundamental aspect of the novel
concerns the parental lack of affection. Do you want to tell us about
it, starting from Marta's experience?
DM: It may seem absurd but it exists. Really strict parents who in turn
have also suffered because of the severity of their parents and have suppressed
their being and their own nature are forced to behave in a dull and bigoted way
towards those who have wide-ranging aspirations, even towards their own child
because so many factors contribute to the behavioral and educational context of
an individual.
MTDD: Parents play a fundamental role not only in the education of their children, but also represent their behavioral model, a model that can be accepted or rejected, but from which the children in one way or another will be inspired. At the same time, it is equally true that, whatever the experience we might have lived as children and adolescents, once we reach adulthood, each of us becomes responsible
for his/her own actions and is, therefore, potentially able to change his/her own perception of certain realities or in some cases change one's own life, perhaps by interrupting vicious circles that have been created over time, especially at the behavioral level. Children often believe that it is their parents’ 'duty'
to do certain things, to teach by example, but unfortunately since we do not live in a perfect world, reality sometimes proves to be quite different. Often the very parents are those who need help beginning with, due to the fact that they do not know how to love or at least how to show their affection and their love to their children. The ability to lead by example, therefore, according to this analysis, would no longer seem to depend on age and parenthood per se, but rather on the level of awareness and empathy achieved.
What do you think about it and what would Marta think if we asked her?
Would she think she might have done something
wrong too or not?
DM:
I fully agree with you. I believe that even a child must do his part when it
comes to education and try to understand his/her parents more. We should find a
perfect balance that unfortunately does not exist, but at least try to get
closer to it. The exemplary family does not exist sad to say.
MTDD: I found the cover of your novel with Marta and her beautiful and beloved horse Audacia to be really beautiful.
What exactly does Audacia (Audacity) represent in Marta's life?
DM: Many have written to me and said that the cover of the novel looks awesome. I'm proud of it. It is the very description of the story. Audacia, Marta's beloved English thoroughbred horse, represents listening, comfort, a consoling haven for the protagonist. Maybe it's the very breath of life itself metaphorically speaking.
MTDD: I know that as for your novel, which among other things is having a considerable success and I am really happy for you, you have projects that are boiling in the pot.
Would you like to tell us about them?
DM: I am writing with the directors Davide Guida and Adriana Mascia the screenplay for a theatrical show based on my novel. A different point of view that takes shape and that will tell a little more. Music, words, and images. I hope it can stir up emotions.
MTDD: Before ending our interview, Daniela, as for those who wish to buy Marta, un soffio di vita or contact you, how can they do so?
DM: Marta, un soffio di vita can be purchased online on Amazon, Ibs, hoepli, Feltrinelli, Mondadori. It is available in paperback only. Or they can request it from me privately. As for those who live in Naples they can come to the maritime station from 8 to 11 October (2020) at the LFA Publisher stand at the city of Naples book fair. I will be there and they can buy my book.
MTDD: Thanks again, dear Daniela, for being my guest. I wish you all the best and that your novel might continue to have a great success. I shall be happy to have you back as a guest of my Blog and Virtual Cultural Salon to discuss with you other interesting topics.
DM: Thank you from the bottom of my heart, you are a great professional and being your guest is just a source of pride for me. I will be happy to discuss many topics with you.
